The not-so-fantastic tales of a lonely Gallentean

“Do you remember how we first met?” Vin leafed through the pages of the latest finance report for her current alliance.

“No, you drugged me.” I replied morosely, “I woke up minus one Vexor and without pants.”

She sighed, “I told you what happened to your pants… Remember that Amarrian?”

“I don’t care, I still blame you.” I glared out of the viewing port of my quarters, silently lamenting the loss of my favourite pants. “How did you even get that report anyway? You’re not a director.” I pointed towards Vin accusingly with my empty wine glass.

“This? Oh, please…” Vin laughed loudly and dropped the large document to the floor. “More wine!”

I laid my head carefully on the desk infront of me and wrapped my arms around it. “I think I’ve had enough. Things are starting to move when they’re not allowed to.”

“Nonsense!” the young Caldari woman crossed the room with near impossible speed and flung open the refrigerator in the corner of the room. “I wish you had nicer wine.”

I lifted my head off of the table and sighed. “It only ever gets drunk when you come here and try make me drunk to give you… Money. Because I’m drunk?”

“Wha…?” Vin spun around and looked at me in the same way you’d look at a well-meaning but pathetic puppy. “More wine!”

I averted my eyes as she bent over and fished a new bottle from the bottom shelf of the refrigerator unit. “Last time I was this drunk, I kept getting drunk until I lost my pants. You know?”

“I know, Dear.” Vin beamed at me as she poured me another glass of wine. “Just a bit more and then you stop being uptight and law abiding!”

“Blah.” I waved my arm in her direction, still facing the opposite wall to her. “You have a minion! What happened to Juniper?”

“Oh!” Vin grabbed my hand and pushed the freshly poured glass into my grasp. “She was such a lovely girl… Unfortunately there was a freak cloning accident and she is no longer with us.”

“Oh…” with considerable effort I turned my head and gazed into my glass of wine. “I’m sorry to hear that… What happened?”

Vin smiled gently and sat in the chair across the desk from me. “It’s okay.” She reached out and placed her hand on my shoulder, “Apparently someone tracked down and killed all of her clones.”

So, I was sitting in my Nemesis, Adastreia, cloaked up 34KM away from our Wormhole link to high sec. I was technically on “guard duty” but I figured one of my crew members would bother me if anything went wrong. While I was idling I decided to try check out some of the various news streams or channels that unexplicably make it through the wormhole link (for the same reason contract listings do but market information doesn’t?) and I came across this article. After skimming through a couple of the points by the Capsuleer using a channel called K162space I decided it was prudent to reasses the positioning of my camera drones which had decided to align towards our system’s resident blackhole (which I swear is secretly some kind of intergalactic, ancient evil which is slowly draining the souls from my corporation’s employees – perhaps more on that later) and focused them on the wormhole.

It made me think though, about how I’d managed to avoid so much of the trouble that my corpmates hadn’t. At first I thought it was because I’m generally more a bit less blood thirsty than some of my friends, or perhaps I am just too damn paranoid. It certainly wasn’t because I’m secretly a very skillful pilot. Then it dawned on me, I’m just lucky.

With the apparently epiphany that the only reason I was still alive was because of luck (and perhaps the “demon of the blackhole” was getting to me a bit) I decided it was time to order myself some high-security-side rest. After collecting any of my off-duty crew members lurking around our Starbase I jumped (I say jumped, it was more like I ran as fast as possible) through the wormhole and headed towards Dodixie (I know, not the first system that comes to mind when the word “rest” is uttered).

As I sat in the Fed. Navy station in Dodixie and chatted with an old friend I became very aware that my hangar has far more mineral content that a non-miner should own. After a little consideration I decided that I should probably get rid of some of the raw materials before I caught whatever pathogen miners carry and that I could probably unload them on my corp’s “premiere” manufacturer and demand he build me things. So next time you hear from me, I should own a nice shiny Retribution class Assault Frigate! While I hear some complaints about how you can’t stick enough modules on them in the way of warp scrambling-ness or flying-fast-ness, it looks like the rack of pulse lasers and the fair tank makes up for it. Aslong as you force a friend to tackle any enemies you might run into.